Saturday, October 30, 2010

Coughee House


Isn’t weekday school fun?

Almost-three-year-old Taylor not only makes friends and plays games, she also brings things home – things like drawings, posters, songs and…germs.

Yes, yes. I know all of you parents out there are nodding your heads. You know. You’ve been there.

F-u-n.

(Notice my sarcasm. I know you can’t hear it, but it’s there).

So, lately, I’ve been spending most of my time at the coughee house.

And I’m not talking about Starbucks.

Everyone in our house has been coughing. Taylor’s coughing fits came courtesy of her second double ear infection in a month while my mom’s coughs became pneumonia. Yikes! The rest of us managed to eke by with a few random coughs and nothing worse – yet -- knock on wood.

On top of all that, Taylor’s cough accompanied a monstrous runny, goopy, sticky nose that we lovingly referred to as Snotzilla (especially post-sneeze). The most annoying thing about Snotzilla was her tendency to interrupt Taylor’s usually sound sleep. In fact, Taylor didn’t nap for almost a week. That was NOT cool.

Snotzilla had to be stopped!

We fought Snotzilla with copious amounts of vitamin C, steamy rooms, and mountains of tissue. We tried fresh air, rest, and acetaminophen. Nothing scared her away.

Week after week, Snotzilla ruled the coughee house…until we finally brought in the big guns – antibiotics.

And now, almost ten days later, Snotzilla is nowhere in sight and the coughee house is quiet and peaceful once again. Afternoon naps stretch for hours. Outings no longer require a pocketful of tissue.

Life is well.

But I’m still at the coffee house…

Starbucks, that is.

Monday, September 27, 2010

Nikon Envy



Jellyfish. Tennessee Aquarium, Chattanooga, Tennessee.
Friday, September 24, 2010.





Award Winning Dahlia. American Dahlia Society Exhibit, Chattanooga, Tennessee.
Sunday, September 26, 2010.


What is Nikon Envy? Click HERE to find out.


Friday, September 10, 2010

Poetry Snack

I adore raspberry sorbet;
The kind you find in a grocery store.
Raspberry sorbet.
And if it was warm I wouldn't eat much more.

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Bluesday Tip #7: Don't Be A Party Pooper

 
Today is Bluesday!

Bluesday is the first Tuesday of the month. Each Bluesday, I share a tip for How To Be Blue. Being blue is about caring for the ocean -- what we put into it, and what we take out of it.

This month's Bluesday tip: Don't Be A Party Pooper.

Many of us have a dog. Many of us love dogs. But few (if any) of us love to pick up after our dog. 
 
Dog waste left behind will end up polluting the ocean, especially when left on a beach. And people do it all the time. The proof is in the ocean pollutants. 
 
Well, that just stinks.
 
Recent scientific studies of ocean water along beaches closed to swimming because of unhealthy levels of certain bacteria in the water found that most of the bacteria originated from dog poop. In fact, dogs are third in line behind birds and people as a source of ocean water pollution. 
 
In most cases, this problem is easily avoided. You - the dog owner - need to pick up the poop. I know a lot of us already pick it up, so please take this post as a pat on the back for all the good work. It's a thankless job, but an important one. 
 
To those of you part-time-scoopers and non-scoopers, don't be a party pooper by leaving dog waste on the beach. It will eventually end up in the ocean. Scoop the poop. Even if you live inland, waste finds its way to water sewers and into the ocean. 
 
A very helpful article in USA Today provides a thorough overview of the health risks of pet waste in the ocean. Pet waste threatens the health of our oceans, which threatens our very own health as people.   

Please click HERE to read the USA Today article.

Don't pollute the ocean with your dog's daily doo. You'll ruin the party for people and ocean creatures.

Use the opportunity to recycle a plastic bag to pick up the poop!

Don't be a party pooper. Be blue!

May you turn a deeper shade of blue with each passing month.

Friday, September 3, 2010

Angels Among Us


There are angels among us. I'm convinced.  

There are angels among us who guard us and make miracles happen.

Look for them.

There are angels among us like the one in the truck stopped behind me yesterday at the red light, a man who went to the trouble of getting out of his truck to knock on my window to tell me that my spare tire was hanging loose underneath the rear of my Tahoe.

I normally wouldn’t roll down my car window for a complete stranger – I know better - but I didn’t even think twice about it. I just did it.

Turned out there was an angel outside my window.

He might have simply saved me the hassle of a major car repair down the road...or he might have saved my life – or the life of my daughter – or the life of someone driving behind me on the highway if that spare tire had fallen down at the wrong time.

And it just so happened that there was a tire service station on the other side of that fateful red light. I pulled right in and had my spare tire reattached.

While I waited for my tire to be fixed, I thought about the angel.

I know who he was.

He was the one who had always been concerned about the tires on my well-traveled car – Did they have enough tread? Were they low on air pressure? Was the car safe to drive?

He was the one who had always been concerned about my safety.

And he was still looking out for me, keeping me safe.

I know who that angel was…

He was my dad.


Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Uncle Ernie


[During a family dinner, my husband’s uncle Ernie told us his story of survival. I had to write it down and share it.]


Ernie was a Forward Officer in Vietnam.

During an operation to lead his platoon into the jungles, he and two radiomen scouted ahead of the group. That day, they were met with an ambush. His two radiomen were killed in the ensuing attack, leaving him unable to communicate back to the rest of the platoon about the ambush. He fought off the enemy until his platoon arrived to fight with him. By the time the platoon came upon him, he’d killed more than a dozen of the enemy attackers and held off the rest.

It wasn’t long after that heroic jungle day that he was taken as a prisoner of war. He was kept imprisoned for nine days, his legs and arms bound tightly behind him while he lay on the floor in a dark, damp hole. His feet were beaten with sticks to prevent his escape. He was made to defecate and urinate on himself. Food was a handful of rice, thrown with accuracy on the dirty, piss-covered floor. He had to move to the rice, lick it up with his tongue.

He was starving.

The physical damage was minimal compared to the lasting, destructive psychological trauma he endured each day. He didn’t know where he was, how long he would be kept a prisoner, or what would become of him after that. Every minute of every day was spent in agony, in dread of the next minute. His fear of death gave way to a fear of life in the dark cell.

But, no matter what they did to him, no matter the beatings and starvation, he wouldn’t talk. There was nothing his enemy could do to make him tell them what they most wanted to know. They would have to kill him. He would give them nothing.

Nine days he spent in this mental limbo. Nine days, in hindsight, was a short time to spend as a POW. But nine days, when he lay on the floor of his cell at the fifth day, and the sixth day, may as well have been a lifetime. The pain came with not knowing when it would end. He had no way of knowing, while imprisoned, whether he would be there for nine days or for one hundred; whether or not he would die there. The paranoia of the unknown is what drove some POWs to madness.

On the ninth day, he was released. He returned to the United States, a recipient of the Bronze Star for his heroism and endurance.

Before the war, Ernie had been offered a football scholarship to Marshall University. His dream of football stardom was dashed when he received his papers to serve in Vietnam. After the war, with his new accolades and experience, he was again offered a place on Marshall’s football team. This time, he was still unable to accept because his POW foot injuries were too extensive for his athleticism to overcome. He had to turn down the scholarship for a second time.

He was bitter and angry. His dream again thwarted by his own bad luck in life. He brooded about it. Lament and regret threatened to topple any sanity he may have salvaged from war….

Until November 14, 1970, the night that the Marshall University football team went down in an airplane crash that killed everyone on board.

Ernie then understood that he had been spared. Although he had horrible memories of his nine POW days, at least he had memories.

He would have been on that Marshall football team. He would have been on that plane.

Had it not been for his call to war, he would be dead.

Ironic.

Vietnam saved his life.


Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Summer Taycation


Summer is my favorite season.

Sure, it’s hot, really hot some days, but I just love the sunny sun and warm rain, flip-flops and sunscreen, beach trips and bathing suits, and the slow-rolling weeks from May to September.

This summer was especially fun with our daughter, Taylor. She’s two and a half, which means that she is constantly learning new things and amusing us with her emerging personality. But she also has “terrible twos” tantrums and practices selective listening and makes us repeat ourselves to get the point across and makes us repeat ourselves to get the point across and makes us repeat ourselves – oh, wait, sorry – you get the point.

Whether we were playing with Taylor or scolding her, we were all about Taylor this summer.

We had a lovely summer Taycation.

Here are the highlights…

Little pool parties in the front yard with two blow-up pools, hose flowing, music mixes, popsicles and snacks, and folding chairs for adults (usually me and Gigi and Sarah, but also the Wolfsons one day – yay!).

Ten day beach trips to Isle of Palms (in May and August): giant drip castles and homemade tide pools; playful dolphins waving tail flukes and swimming close to shore; shell-collecting in the cool shade of dusk; endless wave-jumping; Taylor’s first (pretend) surfing with her feet on the kick board while we held her up and skimmed the board across the waves and sang the “Wipe Out” tune; fun beach days with Gigi, Nana, and Kassi; favorite meals at The Wreck, The Boathouse, Dunleavy’s, and Andolini’s; chai at Kudu, French-Asian fusion at Fish, and late lunch at Magnolia’s – all with dear friends; long beach walks; and rainbows.

Fish fountain fun at The Green uptown with Taylor and one especially fun day with Anna, Emma, and Will Johnson.

Sunny afternoons at OP kiddie pool with Taylor’s turtle float and swimmy suit, a random gathering of shared pool toys, and time to watch Taylor gain confidence in the water.

Discovery Place days, where we crossed the rope bridge over the rainforest, stared into aquarium microcosms of vibrant undersea life, pet a skink, and saw a 3D sea turtle movie - twice (Taylor’s first movie with 3D glasses!).

Strolling to Starbucks for scones and chai and vanilla milk and apple juice, a place to cool off, relaxing music, a small collection of children’s books, and good friends Brooke and Adam! 

Taylor’s first bike ride around the block on her big wheel bike, pedaling (as she would say) “All by my big self”.

Dancing and singing and playing in the house when it was just too hot to be outside.

Day trips to Columbia to visit Gigi, Dale, and Kerri; and an afternoon swim with Uncle Dale in Gigi’s pool.

Fourth of July - with Nana and Pete and Andrew and Sarah - watching uptown fireworks from the park.

Overnight Atlanta trip to see amazing tennis (a Taylor-free trip), and almost-close-enough-to-touch-the-stage standing room at the Jack Johnson concert with Sarah (also Taylor-free).

Slide n’ Seek game: driving around town in search of slides and stopping to try each one.

Gigi slumber parties, Suzie lunches, Tuesdays with aunt Ashley, Sunday brunches at Terrace Café for “whooped” cream, and weekend visits with Nana and Pete.

After such a fun-filled summer Taycation, I can’t believe September is only a week away.

Pool days will soon become school days…

So, let the autumn adventures begin!

Friday, August 13, 2010

Nikon Envy


Thomas Jefferson Memorial, Washington, DC. Friday, July 2, 2010.

[What is Nikon Envy? Click here to find out]

Friday, August 6, 2010

Poetry Snack

The rust moon rose.
A chocolate gown in my bitter garden.
From raw trip to honey spring road,
I love for power.
Sweet.
Bare.
Still.
Rob life of time.
Recall pink light like shadow vision.
Part over death.

[P.S. I made this poem entirely from Magnetic Poetry word magnets]

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Overzealous Fan and Toddler Man



Dear Saturday Night Live,

I have two new characters for you.

Meet Overzealous Fan.

She’s an average, forty-something woman who loves tennis. What she loves even more than the action on the court is getting into the action from the stands. Yes, she is the one who yells words of encouragement between the first and second serves. She is the one who coaches her favorite of the two players through the tough points. Not only does she cheer, but she’s on a first name basis. In fact, if you didn’t know her, you might assume she actually knows the player to whom she calls with such intensity, such excessive enthusiasm.

As you probably know, tennis is a relatively quiet sport when it comes to fans and cheering. There is a rhythm to each point within each game. There is appropriate space for loud cheering and moments when the crowd is asked to be still and silent. Overzealous Fan is oblivious to tennis etiquette. When the rest of the crown begins to hush, she shouts, “Bring it, Andy!” She stands up for almost the whole match and claps hard to rally her favorite player. “That’s all right, Andy. You’ll get the next one. Come on. Next point. This one’s all yours, Andy.”

Andy somehow ignores her.

I guess part of the price of tennis fame is putting up with an Overzealous Fan.

Meet Toddler Man.

He’s a full grown adult version of your typical two-year-old. When you’re with him, he won’t let you speak a word to another person. Not face-to-face, not even on the phone. He wants all of your attention. And when you try to speak to someone else, he makes it impossible to carry on a conversation. He yells, screams, makes noise, repeats your name over and over and over and over and over again until you say, “What!”, and, if all verbal accosting fails, he clings to your legs or throws himself on the floor in fits and tantrums.

Ah, yes, this is my daughter’s two-year-old behavior in a nutshell. She made a decision that I am not allowed to converse with another adult while she is in the room. In her mind, that seems perfectly acceptable. Why should I have any problem with it? We have fun together. We play. But, to say the least, it can be frustrating at times. We’re working on manners and “Excuse me”; however, she now repeats “Excuse me” – very loudly - to regain my attention.

Sigh.

I’m just glad she’ll outgrow it.

She will.

Right?

So, those are a couple characters inspired by my real life experiences this summer – the first by actual events, the second by my daughter’s recent behavior.

Feel free to use them in your upcoming skits.

Maybe you’ve met them before, but – for your sake - I hope you haven’t.

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Bluesday Tip #6: If It's Yellow, Let It Mellow


Today is Bluesday!

Bluesday is the first Tuesday of the month. Each Bluesday, I share a tip for How To Be Blue. Being blue is about caring for the ocean -- what we put into it, and what we take out of it.

This month's Bluesday tip: If It’s Yellow, Let It Mellow.

You may have heard this one before. It tends to provoke strong reactions for and against. The whole saying is well known among treehuggers and conservationists: “If it’s yellow, let it mellow; if it’s brown, flush it down.”

And – yes – it refers to selective toilet flushing.

I know, I know, I probably just lost some of you right there.

Gross!

I’m hoping a few of you are still reading – out of sheer curiosity if nothing more.

No matter your reaction to the idea of thinking before you flush, it really is an effective and simple water conservation method once you get into the habit of it. And you don’t have to do it all the time – like, for example, it probably goes without saying that this method should not be used in public restrooms.

But, in the privacy of your own home, this water-saving technique works.

Basically, it means what it says. Look at the color before you flush. If it’s yellow, leave it there until the next time the toilet is used. Don’t waste a flush. It will add up to a lot of water saved in the long run.

I recommend yellow-mellow toilets in your private, master bathroom only. Keep on flushing any other toilets used by guests or by other household members who aren’t cool with this whole idea.

And while we’re on the topic of colors… although I still think that blue is a better color for the conservation movement than green - because our planet is mostly blue ocean, and we can’t live without the ocean – in this case, yellow and being blue do make green.

So, let the yellow mellow and be blue!

Water conservation is one of the best ways to help protect the ocean. So, even if your roommate or boyfriend or spouse or partner or anyone else sharing your bathroom resists the idea of selective flushing, be bold and caring enough not to waste a flush on just pee.

It’s just pee.

The ocean and its millions of beautiful creatures will thank you.

May you turn a deeper shade of blue with each passing month!

Monday, August 2, 2010

Nikon Envy

I love taking pictures.

Through the lens of my camera, I’m forced to live in the moment in order to capture it.

My closet shelves are packed with rows of photo albums and stacks of prints, all documenting three decades of camera use – from old school Polaroids to random Canons to my first “real” camera, a Canon SLR Rebel EOS 35mm (which was amazing!), to my first pocket-sized digital.

Want to know a secret?

I have Nikon envy.

Well, I should say I had Nikon envy. Even while I had other great cameras, I really, really wanted a Nikon. Until - after a very Happy Mother’s Day gift from my wonderful, generous husband - I finally have a Nikon to call my own.

*content sigh*

It’s as good as I imagined.

I realize that a camera alone does not a photographer make, but having a digital Nikon SLR camera certainly helps to make my photos look more professional (and compensates for my lack of talent).

I can’t contain my Nikon excitement!

So, every now and then, to share my excitement, I’m going to post a photo I took with my Nikon to demonstrate why (if you don’t have a Nikon already) you should have Nikon envy…

Enjoy!

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Virginia, Visas, and...Vomit


Have you ever taken a trip where the reality of it turned out to be completely different from your expectations?

Well, that’s what happened to me on my recent trip to D.C.

It was my longest trip alone and away from my two-year-old daughter since she was born. What I expected was good times with friends I rarely see, enlightenment about the latest twists and turns in immigration law, and a free and fun-filled few days to tour and visit my favorite spots.

What I got was mostly King Street, Alexandria, Virginia; an overview of what I already knew about visas; and lots of vomit (apologies to the Jefferson Memorial groundskeeper…)

To begin with, my hotel was directly across the street from the Alexandria Courthouse, where media camped out in vans the whole time I was there in anticipation of hearings for several of the Russian spies. I was in the middle of national news every time I walked out of my hotel lobby, which I found to be amusing and totally unexpected.

Then, it turned out that my hotel was a good distance from the main street, King Street, in Alexandria. My shoe rubbed a big blister on my toe after I made the walk one time during my first night there.

Oh, and the traffic – horrendous - but I knew that. I just forgot how bad it could be until I was sitting in the middle of it on the way to and from my conference hotel, or driving twenty-minute-miles around town, or trying to get home on Saturday in what appeared to be the Fourth of July weekend parking lot on four lanes of I-85 South between D.C. and Richmond.

Aside from the location and traffic set backs, I was still enjoying Alexandria and the conference and the company of friends. I saved some of the best outings for the arrival of G, my dear college friend who just happened to be coming to D.C. the week I was there.

But my big plans for sightseeing and gallivanting around town with G were put to a quick end when she ate two soft boiled eggs during our lunch at some quasi-French corner café (that looked deceivingly quaint and European). A couple hours later, during our self-guided walking tour of the major D.C. monuments, G fell victim to food poisoning and wound up doubled over on the steps of the Jefferson Memorial unable to do anything but vomit in the grass (she was patriotic enough not to throw up on the actual monument).

G could barely move, which is when I discovered how poorly staffed those places are for any kind of health emergency. I couldn’t find a single person with authority to help her get out of there. Not even a golf cart or van or something. Nobody could tell me how to get my car from the mile-away parking lot to the circular drive next to the monument without drawing the attention of FBI and Homeland Security. Poor G was going to have to walk all the way back to my car. And she did. Such a trooper! But she was wiped out.

After all that, G insisted that we finish our monument tour by driving through the Mall area, even though poor G could only recline in the passenger seat and try to keep from vomiting again. I made it fast. Since we were so close to the Mall already, I drove around a few times, jumped out and snapped pictures, and then took G back to the hotel for some rest. As soon as we walked into the hotel room, more vomit.

Oh, poor G.

I doubt she’ll ever have soft boiled eggs again.

I won’t.

With G recovering in the hotel on the last night of my trip, I strolled alone down King Street past rows of restaurants and shops, taking pictures and wishing G felt well enough for the girls’ dinner we planned for that night. I just hated that she was sick during our visit because, living on opposite sides of the country, we rarely have time together. She came to D.C. early just to hang out with me. The last thing we expected was vomit.

Damn those eggs.

Most importantly, G was feeling better by Saturday. Unfortunately, that was the day I had to leave.

And so it goes.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I did have good times with friends (vomit excluded) and learned about Virginia and visas, but – looking back - I have to laugh about the many unexpected situations in three short days.

Just a reminder to me, plans or no plans --

Life happens.

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Bluesday Tip #5: Learn from Aquariums, but there's a Catch


Today is Bluesday!

Bluesday is the first Tuesday of the month. Each Bluesday, I share a tip for How To Be Blue. Being blue is about caring for the ocean -- what we put into it, and what we take out of it.

This month's Bluesday tip: Learn from Aquariums, but there’s a catch.

Summer is upon us in the United States. We are wading through the warm (often very hot) months of June, July, and August, spending more time outside than inside, and making frequent trips to the nearest body of water -- pool, lake, river, ocean – for an escape from the heat.

With kids out of school and vacations on the horizon, now is the time not only to enjoy the ocean, but to appreciate it. One of the best ways to appreciate and care for the ocean is to learn about it and the variety of fascinating creatures that call it home.

There are many sources for ocean education, the most obvious being a trip to the beach to explore the environment first hand. To hear the heartbeat of ocean waves and to find a coiled shell in the sand usually inspires love for the ocean; however, the acts alone of standing on the beach, collecting shells, or swimming in the ocean do not guarantee newfound knowledge. Just as one needs labels to learn about paintings in a museum or a map to find historic landmarks in a city, one needs a guide of some sort to fully appreciate and learn about the ocean environment and marine creatures.

For example, on almost every trip I make to the South Carolina coast I come across a bunch of perplexed tourists standing over a beached Cannonball Jellyfish (scientific name: Stomolophus meleagris). They prod at it with dried marsh reeds, afraid to touch it because it’s a jellyfish, and jellyfish sting. Right?

Well, most of the time, yes, jellyfish sting. But the cannonball jellyfish sting is so weak that humans rarely feel a thing – believe me, I’ve picked up more than my fair share of cannonball jellies to demonstrate their harmless nature to newbie beachgoers (it is important to note that cannonball jelly toxin does irritate human eyes – so don’t touch your eyes after touching this jellyfish). In Japan, cannonball jellyfish are considered a delicacy.

Funny fact: A school of jellyfish is called a smack.

And all of this discussion about jellyfish brings me back to my main point – learn about the ocean and its creatures. You just did! You now know more about cannonball jellyfish than most people on the beach this summer.

And I know just where to learn even more…

Aquariums!

Before (or during) your trip to the beach this summer, visit an aquarium for a full ocean education. Like museum labels and city maps, aquariums are excellent sources of information. Aquariums allow a rare, up-close view of live marine creatures – those you may see on the beach and many you have never seen (and may never see) in the wild. Show your children the wonders of the underwater world and inspire their lifelong love of the ocean.

But, there’s a catch.

While established large-scale city and state aquariums are excellent sources for learning about the ocean world, individual aquariums kept in offices, restaurants, public places, and private homes often do more harm than good. Tropical fish sold for small aquariums are usually caught in the wild using unsustainable and destructive methods.

To avoid the catch of an aquarium that harms the ocean, make sure to follow these general rules (and suggest to owners of individual aquariums at local businesses that they do the same):

Don’t buy live saltwater fish caught in the wild for your aquarium. The fishing methods used for the live fish trade include such things as cyaniding and dynamiting, which destroy the marine environment. Every year in the U.S. alone, hundreds of thousands of young and rare tropical reef fish die in small aquariums.

Buy only Marine Aquarium Council (www.aquariumcouncil.org) certified fish to be sure that your fish are sustainably caught or reared in captivity. Encourage local businesses to buy MAC certified fish for their aquariums.

Never return aquarium fish to the ocean or any body of water because doing so could introduce non-native species that may disrupt the delicate balance of marine ecosystems.

To be blue this month, learn more about the ocean and its creatures by visiting beaches and aquariums, but beware of the aquarium catch.

The more we learn about the ocean, the more we will care about protecting it. We will discover that, like the cannonball jellyfish, the ocean is full of contradictions and exceptions to common sense rules…

When caught in a riptide, don’t try to swim toward the shore (and directly against the pull of the tide), but rather swim parallel to the shore and eventually out of the tide.

The best way to care for the ocean is to learn about it and teach others. Some knowledge may help us identify marine creatures on the beach (cannonball jellyfish), while some knowledge may save a life (surviving a riptide).

May you turn a deeper shade of blue with each passing month!

Saturday, June 26, 2010

State Of Mind


While running my boring errands today, I saw something very interesting.

I had to drive into South Carolina, which was about forty minutes out of my way. It would have been an uneventful trip if I knew exactly where I was going. But I didn’t.

I was looking for a small bank along a wide stretch of road with lots of traffic. That’s why I noticed the sign marking the state line. I needed to know when I crossed into South Carolina so that I knew to look for my destination soon after that. What I didn’t expect to see was what sat on the property behind the state line sign – a house.

The state line sliced right through the middle of a house!

Well, that brought up all kinds of questions in my head, questions that distracted me until I finally found the bank.

First of all, how did such a thing happen? Did the owner of the house choose to build it on the line? Or did the state move the line after the house was built?

Second, where do “they” – the people in the house – live? In North Carolina or in South Carolina? Both, I guess. But that doesn’t work for a mailing address. Do they live where they eat, or where they sleep (which could be in two different states)? Do they live in the state with the front door? Then, to digress, I ended up on a train of thought about where we each live – do we live where our house is, or where we work, or where we get the most out of life…? Does an address really have anything to do with where we actually live?

Perhaps the only state that matters is state of mind.

Hmm…

And getting back to the state line house…

Do they have to pay income tax in both states? Do they split property taxes down the middle between North and South Carolina?

What about a driver’s license and a license plate? Which state?

Can they vote in both states?

My list went on and on. The state line house brought up so many questions that I don’t understand why anyone would want to live in it.

Maybe they have kids in college and came up with this brilliant plan to qualify for in-state tuition in both states.

I must admit, it isn’t such a bad idea…

Have you ever seen a state line house? What would you ask?

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Poetry Snack

Open ocean all around me,
And land nowhere in sight.
Then again it becomes morning.
Then again it becomes night.

Sunday, June 20, 2010

My Dad


My dad isn’t here this Father’s Day.

For the first time in my life, I face Father’s Day without my father.

He died nine months ago, on a Wednesday. I was there beside his hospital bed.

I was there.

But I still can’t believe it.

So, even though I want a happy Father’s Day for my husband -- and for all the other fathers out there -- I’m sad.

I’m just too sad.

I wish I could hug my dad today. I wish I could talk to him and hear him answer and see his face (for real, not just in pictures) and look into his eyes. I wish we could play Quoridor fifty times in a row, or however many times it would take for him to be the “Champion” and for me to remain the “Champion-to-be”…

He’ll always be the Champion -- my Champion.

I wish he could play with my daughter, lift her up and feel her giggling in his arms. I wish I could tell him that he was the greatest dad. My life will never be the same without him.

I wish, I wish, I wish…

For my sister and brother and mom, my endless love and many hugs. I know how you feel. I’m thinking of you.

For my family and friends without fathers this Father’s Day, my love and deepest sympathy.

Remember him.

“They lived and laughed and loved and left.” ~James Joyce

“[A] final comfort that is small, but not cold: The heart is the only broken instrument that works.” ~T.E. Kalem


I love you, Dad.

I miss you every day.

Always yours,
KJ of America

Friday, June 18, 2010

Poetry Snack

Water runs. Time flies. Light dances. Wind dies.
We don't need legs or hearts or wings to do the very simple things.

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Moonlight


I spent an hour on the beach at midnight a few weeks ago, gazing at the biggest and brightest full moon. It rose over the ocean, shining on the waves like quicksilver, so bright I could see my shadow.

Other people were out there – my fellow night owls drawn to bask in moonlight - walking beside calm low tide waves. With my mind adrift, I almost forgot that all the morning people were sleeping. They were missing an amazing moon!

I’ve come to accept that most people are morning people. That’s okay. Based on the several dozen sunrises I’ve seen (admittedly, about a dozen of those after pulling all-nighters), I understand the appeal of songbirds and dewy grass. Early morning has a different though equally beautiful rhythm and freshness.

But I’ve always relished the dark and quiet post-midnight hours.

I just love to stay up late.

That night on the beach, spellbound by the moon, I thought about life and dreams, time and how to spend it, what matters and what should matter. And then it dawned on me (no pun intended) – it doesn’t matter what time of day we each favor so long as we find time to pursue our dreams. Whether middle day or middle night, sunrise or sunset, we each have a favorite time when the rest of the world seems fast asleep. A time when we sit and unwind, or we focus and create, or we exercise and practice...until we become who we want to be.

I know talk of dreams often sounds idealistic and warm-fuzzy (try to ignore the little cynic on your shoulder). This isn’t a new concept. But we all need reminding that our dreams are out there and worth our time.

So, here’s a reminder.

Find your time. Live your dream.

The full moon reminded me of how best to work toward my dream…

I’ll be moonlighting!

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Mashed Potatoes On The House

[Note: One way I work through writer’s block is by writing down bits of conversation I overhear in public places. The following dialogue evolved from one such exercise about five years ago. Please excuse the formatting.]

In a coffee shop, HUSBAND and WIFE discuss with their REALTOR the best way to get the sellers -- the Wife’s father and step-mother -- to make repairs on the house before closing.

WIFE: He used so many complicated words and so much syntax. You would think he was a lawyer. You know, he came from that generation of doctors and lawyers. He’s a smart guy, well, he’s my father.

REALTOR: Does agreeing to certain portions of what he’s asking give us the ability to go for replacing the furnace? That’s what I don’t know. How would he react to that?

WIFE: (touching Husband’s arm) Honey, do you want another coffee now that you discovered the joys of Hershey syrup and coffee?

HUSBAND: A mocha, blended coffee thing would be great. (Wife walks away to the coffee bar to get a second round of drinks). She’s worried that we’re going to press too far. I mean, at one o’clock, do they refuse to do the furnace if we push?

REALTOR: I need to find the answers to these questions. Is the window warranty transferable to the new owners, and, if it is, can we get that in writing?

HUSBAND: I know what he’s thinking. If you have a say in replacing a unit, then you’re going to pick the most expensive one.

REALTOR: We also need a more complete report from Bob. When I’m representing the seller, I tell him that the buyers asked these things to be fixed and we should do it. A good seller should fix significant repairs.

(Wife returns to the table).

WIFE: Make sure I don’t get the sweatiness from my coffee drink on your paint chips.

HUSBAND: So, how should we put it? “We love your house. Now, get out.”

REALTOR: I’ve had so many people almost buy this house, but the pink is killing me, killing me. And she keeps asking me why the house hasn’t sold. She painted it inside and out last year and they’re bad colors. And I can’t tell her.

WIFE: She loves those colors.

REALTOR: I got the best feed back from a realtor once, but I could never tell her. It was, “Love the house, built in the 1900s, very nice architecture, but if Florida were a person, then it looks like he threw up all over that house. All over it.”

HUSBAND: I’ll write a suggestion and have someone read it.

REALTOR: To be sure it won’t be harsh.

HUSBAND: It won’t be harsh. It will be trying to decipher what he said. I would like to bring up the water issues. I’ll do it gently - a letter or dialogue, but not a firm response as to what we’re going to do.

REALTOR: Could you start it out with, “Dear Joe, your baby is not ugly.” (They laugh) Seriously, though.

WIFE: This is my father’s generation. Approach it from where he’s coming from, and then it’s understood.

REALTOR: Back when he bought and sold houses, everybody worked for the buyer and nobody worked with the seller.

HUSBAND: He wrote this, but he didn’t give us any way to get in touch with him to talk about these issues. He softened as he got through it. He started harsh. (Husband looks down at a letter to them from the father).

REALTOR: You may ask him some questions that he has not asked himself. Even though he’s been mean about it, he is inviting some dialogue.

WIFE: Yeah, let’s be careful talking about my father.

HUSBAND: I feel bad because your step-mother was running some interference.

WIFE: She’s nice and everything, but we could not even talk to one another. She was very disruptive. She treated me like a kid with bad manners. She was like that. She had that level of expectation.

HUSBAND: Joe cut corners on the long term care of the house. But we don’t need to tell him that.

WIFE: Everybody cuts corners, really, everybody does. But the house is over all in good shape. I heard him say more than once to you that he did not see any real problems in that house. I heard. So there’s a little wood that needs replacing and there’s some water damage, but nobody gets mortar fixed, nobody does, it’s just old brick. I heard him say there’s nothing significantly wrong with this house. The HVAC is bad. That’s all.

REALTOR: Furnaces were his main concern.

WIFE: I’m not saying that we shouldn’t do what he said. It’s just to noone’s benefit to overstate it. He did not neglect that house. I’ve seen houses that were far worse.

REALTOR: You have a positive way of asking questions. If you can use that, that may not be a bad way to ask. Maybe he’ll surprise us, you know. So was Sullivan’s a good place to eat?

HUSBAND: How many bowls of mashed potatoes do you think they would bring one couple?

WIFE: Yes, it was an event. We got there at five fifteen. We were seated around ten of six and didn’t leave until after ten.

HUSBAND: He hasn’t answered how many bowls yet. That stuff is heavy.

REALTOR: They brought the salad wedge, right? Did you send it back and have them chop it up? That really bothers me.

HUSBAND: They bring it on a small plate so it looks big. I saw people picking it up like a sandwich, dipping it in salad dressing.

(They all laugh)

REALTOR: I could see Tom Hanks doing that in a movie. So, how many? Two bowls? Three? Were you eating them all?

WIFE: Well, I was eating mashed potatoes and hit something hard. I got the spoon and there was this clear shard of something. I thought it was glass. I said to stop eating the potatoes. Then Pierre came over and said it is “plasteek.” It should not be in the potatoes, but it is not a “cat-ass-trophee”. I was laughing and irritated at the same time.

HUSBAND: Then the second bowl came out and that was okay. And the floor manager came out. At this point, all the help knew it. Pierre went back and scolded someone for it.

WIFE: Well, what can we do for you? And I said a little more than a free bowl of mashed potatoes. And they brought us a bottle of wine.

REALTOR: Thirty dollar bottle of wine or one hundred dollar bottle?

WIFE: For them, it was like a seventy dollar bottle.

REALTOR: There is a waiter in the middle of all of this, too?

WIFE: A waitress. And she was cool.

HUSBAND: The manager was like the stickler saying, “You’re fork eez not in zee right place, you must move zee fork.” Well, about half the table was mashed potatoes. When they found the plastic piece, Pierre went back and cleaned off the plastic.

WIFE: Every five minutes somebody was at the table. They had two crumb guys. I didn’t see them do anything else. Two crumb guys and the table was only big enough for two people.

HUSBAND: But it was a nice night.

REALTOR: I’ve only been to Sullivan’s once, and it was with this girl that I really, really wanted to go out with and I didn’t think that she would say yes in a million years, but she said yes. We started off by going to Les Mis – a great way to start a first date – then we went to the Sullivan’s bar and had martinis. But it is an expensive meal. It’s an anniversary meal, not a first date meal. You don’t start there, you end there.

HUSBAND: Who’s this girl?

REALTOR: It’s a girl I knew from work. Anyway, the next time we had a date, she asked where we were going. And I had nowhere to go from there. So that ended it.

WIFE: Well, it’s probably better that you found that out right away.

REALTOR: That was about five years ago, when I had my Mustang. But I don’t have it now, because you can’t put your kids in the back and can’t show houses in that car. (Realtor takes a sip of coffee). So, you’re going to write the letter and when will you have it for review?

HUSBAND: I’ll get the draft done tonight. Then you can look at the draft.

WIFE: (looking at the paint samples on the table). So, this orange for the living room, and some kind of lively but subtle yellow in the den.

REALTOR: I’m always interested in what they name colors. It’s somebody’s job to sit in a room and come up with names for twenty different hues of green. (Realtor starts to get up from the table). So, we’re done. I’ll look for an email with the letter.

HUSBAND: I’ll send it from work.

WIFE: I want to get outside and get some air.

HUSBAND: Well, thanks for everything.

REALTOR: Hey, it was worth coming out just to hear the mashed potato story.

WIFE: Yeah, we always make a spectacle of ourselves. Like when we were leaving, the whole staff was like – bye, bye, congratulations. They were clapping and telling us to come back.

HUSBAND: They weren’t clapping.

WIFE: Yes, they were. They were clapping.

REALTOR: Were they clapping because you were finally leaving?

WIFE: (laughing) No, no, but they were clapping.

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Scott Free

[Today’s Fiction Free Write – I woke one morning about a month ago with the last line of this free write in my head and this is what it became.]


I hated Uncle Dean and didn’t want anything from him.

He was my mother’s brother, the oldest – and shortest – of five. But his lack of height didn’t stop him from bossing people around. I think it bothered him that he couldn’t tell me what to do like he did everyone else in his life.

“You’re a bum, Scott,” he snarled at me more times than I can count. “Get a real job and stop wasting your life on idiotic dreams. You’re just like your mother, except she was smart enough to finally listen.”

I guess I could have fought back or believed him, but that’s what he wanted me to do. Instead, I just ignored him, shook my head, and took my board out to the ocean to watch the sun set on the surf.

My uncle was bad enough when he was bitter and poor. I didn’t think he could get worse…until he won the lottery. Somehow, money made it okay for him to be a mean little gnome-man. Family members who feuded with him for years forgave him as fast as it took him to press hundred dollar bills to their palms.

They became his possessions.

I wasn’t going to be one of them.

He couldn’t buy me like one of his ten cars or three houses. I would tell him as much, if he ever asked. But I think he already knew how I felt. He didn’t seem to care. Material shit never mattered much to me. I had my friends, miles of ocean, and lots of time.

That’s why I asked the lawyer to repeat himself when he read Uncle Dean’s will a week after the bastard choked to death on an olive in the master stateroom of his yacht somewhere in the middle of the Mediterranean Sea.

I couldn’t believe he left everything to me.

I bet you’re thinking this must have been the best thing that ever happened to me. I had all the money I’d ever need. I never had to work again. I could do whatever I wanted to do for the rest of my life. And so on. All the thoughts you’d think when you imagine having millions.

But leaving me everything turned out to be the cruelest thing that damn Uncle Dean ever did.

There was no place to go when I had it all handed to me. No motivation to find something I loved - to strive and try and fail. Sure, it made things a hell of a lot easier in many ways. I’m not complaining. But it didn’t give me purpose. For a long time, I didn’t see the point in putting one foot in front of the other to go in any direction. I wondered if people liked me just for my new money.

He sucked the life right out of my life.

I’m sure he was laughing out loud in his fancy grave.

And I wasn’t about to let him have the last laugh.

So after about a year of floundering and partying, squandering money and time, and becoming the bum my uncle always said I was, I woke up on a poolside lawn chair after a night of heavy drinking with a wrinkled paper menu stuck to my arm that changed everything.

On the back of that menu was a plan I’d scrawled out after a few too many brews with the four friends I trusted most – Jake, Kev, Eli, and Olivia, the girl I’ve loved for almost twenty years, although I haven’t ever told her.

The five of us planned to travel the world on my dead uncle’s dime, surf the best waves, and feed our souls with the culture and kindness of strangers. We’d take my uncle’s cursed millions and have the adventure of a lifetime. We turned my paper menu vision into three dedicated months of preparation and research and anticipation that led us to the deck of this boat I chartered, complete with captain and crew.

But you know what Burns and Steinbeck said about the best laid plans.

I guess we should have known better when we set out that blustery April morning to begin our two year journey. We should have known we couldn’t escape the things we tried to leave behind – our problems, our families, ourselves.

We had each other, which seemed to be enough at the time.

The boat was stocked, the money endless, the tide high, and our spirits even higher.

Pelicans flew in v-shaped flocks pointed out to sea.

And away we all went to darkening waves.

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

World Oceans Day 2010


Welcome!

My new blog design is ready just in time for World Oceans Day 2010.

Yay!

Today -- June 8th -- is World Oceans Day!

Although celebrated unofficially for more than a decade, World Oceans Day was officially designated to be June 8th by the United Nations in 2009.

This year, World Oceans Day events are focused on the diversity of life in the oceans. And this focus could not come at a better time. We’ve all seen the heartbreaking pictures from the Gulf of Mexico of birds, sea turtles, and even dolphins covered in oil and struggling to survive through one of the worst oil spill disasters in history.

For those of us who don’t live close enough to volunteer to help, we’re left wondering what we can do. In honor of World Oceans Day and the diversity of life in the oceans, here are few ways that we can help protect the wildlife endangered by the oil spill:

The National Wildlife Federation is assisting with the clean up and rescue of animals stranded in oil. Visit the NWF website here. But, most importantly, to help with their rescue effort, please text "WILDLIFE" to 20222 to donate $10.

Buy Dawn. One bottle purchased = $1.00 donated to save wildlife. Click here for details.

Wear blue and tell two. Wear blue in support of the oceans and marine creatures and tell two people about World Oceans Day and how to donate to the wildlife rescue effort in the Gulf.

Be Blue. Read my Bluesday tips (on the menu tab at the top of this page) to learn about tips for how to protect the oceans and sea creatures now and in the future.

World Oceans Day is a reminder that the ocean is not only our life support system, but a thing of great beauty, teeming with amazing creatures. The ocean is resilient, but we are testing it almost to its limits. The oil spill underway in the Gulf of Mexico is a startling and sad example of just that.

Wear blue today. Be blue today. For the ocean and its diversity of life, celebrate World Oceans Day 2010 by doing your part to help with the rescue of wildlife in the Gulf of Mexico.

Thank you for checking out my new blog design!!

[Code: KZXUK387YGCW]

Saturday, June 5, 2010

Poetry Snack

Why is fate denied?
Out of fear or out of pride?
If the latter, let it be.
If the former, set it free.

Thursday, June 3, 2010

sMall Things

My two-year-old daughter is teaching me that small things matter most.

Children are so much better than adults at appreciating the simple pleasures of everyday life – things like bright yellow leaves, ants crawling on the sidewalk, the sound of thunder, an airplane in the sky – things we take for granted because we’ve experienced them hundreds of times before. Children marvel at the small things we adults walk past without even noticing.

Only a few days ago, I took my daughter to run errands at the mall.

And I dread running errands, especially at the mall.

When I do have to go to the mall, I like to make a short list of what I need, get in, and get out.

But that isn’t how it works with a toddler in tow.

So I entered the mall prepared with snacks and drinks and interesting toys to use as bait to lure my daughter back into her stroller when she tired of walking.

And then a surprising thing happened.

I didn’t need the stuff I brought along (well, except my credit card, of course). To my daughter, the mall was a fascinating world of amazing new discoveries around every corner. The mall was a playground full of small things I never noticed before I saw them through her young eyes…

Shoes! She pointed and squealed with joy - pretty flowers on fancy flip flops, shiny heels and flats – rows and rows of shoes at her eye level.

Fountain! She stood mesmerized by circles of spouting water that rose and fell in dancing patterns like a miniature version of the famous Bellagio fountains. I gave her pennies to throw in and make wishes.

Escalator! She threw a fit (in Nordstrom – oops!) because she wanted to ride on the escalator like Corduroy the overall-clad bear who went looking for his missing button.

Really? A tantrum over an escalator?

But those small mall things I always overlooked – shoe departments, fountains, and escalators – made the mall a place of wonder for my sweet daughter.

And the funny thing is that I truly enjoyed our trip to the mall that day because I wasn’t thinking about the errands I had to run or how to hurry through my list of things to do. I was thinking about the small things that made my daughter smile.

I’m learning from her that small things really do matter most.

Even at the mall.

I think I’ll look forward to our next trip there together.

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Bluesday Tip #4: Stash the Trash

Today is Bluesday!

On the first Tuesday of each month, I share a tip for How To Be Blue. Being blue is about caring for the ocean - what we put into it, and what we take out of it.

This month's Bluesday tip: Stash the Trash.

Memorial Day weekend was the unofficial start of summer in the United States (thank you to the brave men and women who serve and protect our country and our freedom).

Summertime brings with it a huge influx of travelers to the beach. Some of us may have spent this past holiday weekend at the beach. Many of us will vacation on the coast during the course of the summer and throughout the year. Many of us live at or near a beach.

Regardless of when we go to the beach, one thing is bound to happen to almost all of us…trash.

Whether a sandwich wrapper or a cigarette butt, a plastic straw or a beer bottle, we will generate some sort of trash while we’re at the beach. And if we leave that trash on the beach, it will end up in the ocean. So what matters most is what we do with the trash.

That’s where this month’s Bluesday tip comes in handy.

Just stash the trash.

This should be an easy one for all of us. Simply stuff the trash in a bag or a cup or a shoe or a chair until it’s time to leave the beach. Then dispose of the trash in the nearest trash can or recycling bin.

That’s it.

But I challenge all of us to take it one step further…

Pick up trash we find on the beach even when it isn’t our trash.

Gasp!

Why should we do that?

Well, here’s the thing, garbage on the beach usually ends up as garbage in the ocean. The tide moves in, sucks up the trash, and rolls back out with it. Ocean currents then move much of the trash to a number of areas where the currents meet. The collections of trash in the crossroads of currents are called marine trash islands.

The most well known marine trash island is the Great Pacific Garbage Patch (aka the Eastern Garbage Patch) located between Hawaii and California. The exact size of the patch is not known, but is estimated to be somewhere between the size of Texas and the size of the continental United States (yikes!). It is constantly growing. The Atlantic Ocean has a marine trash island as well in its Sargasso Sea.

Ninety percent of the trash found in the garbage patches is plastic, of which eighty percent comes from land sources (like – you guessed it - beaches). Trash such as water bottles, straws, cups, bottle caps, plastic bags, fish netting, and six-pack rings are a few of the types of items found floating in marine trash islands.

Giant garbage patches pose many dangers for ocean wildlife. Whales, seabirds, sea turtles, and other animals can easily become tangled in nylon nets and six-pack rings or choke on balloons, straws, and sandwich wrap. Fish, seabirds, jellyfish, and oceanic filter feeders mistake brightly colored plastic pellets for fish eggs and krill. The plastic pellets become toxic in large quantities and can lead to genetic defects that ripple through the food chain.

[Bonus Tip: Before throwing a six-pack ring in the trash (or recycling) bin, cut apart each of the rings to prevent strangulation of sea birds and turtles should the rings end up in the ocean.]

We enjoy spending time at the beach, so we must care about the only thing that makes a beach a beach – the ocean. If we care about the ocean, then we care about what we put into the ocean that might harm it or the sea creatures that call it home.

Even if you’re not a beach person, the ocean plays a much larger role in your inland life than you may realize.

No ocean, no humans. So we should all care about the ocean.

Besides, I don’t hear about anyone running off to vacation at marine trash islands. Who likes to hang out on a heap of trash?

And none of us want to contribute to the growth of marine trash islands. We really don’t.

That’s why we should do something.

Trash is trash is trash. Once it’s on the beach – no matter who put it there - it’s on its way to the marine trash islands. We can show how much we care about the ocean by picking up any trash we see on the beach – our own trash and that of the billions of people who don’t know about this month’s Bluesday tip because they don’t read my blog (*smile*).

Be a blue beachgoer. Stash the Trash.

The ocean and marine creatures will thank you!

May you turn a deeper shade of blue with each passing month.

Sunday, May 16, 2010

The Late Bird May Get A Better Deal On The Worm

That’s right.

The early bird may get the worm, but -- by being too early -- the early bird may miss out on a better, later deal.

We’ve all heard about the early bird. We’re bombarded with early bird specials and encouraged to be an early bird to get discounts on major purchases, to save money on travel plans, or even to find more success in life.

But today I stumbled upon an exception to this general rule.

And it might just open up a whole new can of worms for all of us birds.

See, I’m attending a conference this summer in DC. Two months ago, when I decided to go to the conference, I researched hotel options for the best rates and deals.

I was trying to be a good little early bird, even though I’m not.

The hotel where I wanted to stay cost a hundred dollars more per night than the Westin a few blocks over. So I was planning to make my reservations at the Westin instead. But, just today, I happened to search hotels again and discovered that the hotel where I originally wanted to stay has now dropped its nightly rate to a few dollars below the Westin’s rate.

Had I booked my hotel reservations two months ago, I would have missed the best deal on the hotel I really wanted. If I’d been the early bird, sure I’d get the worm – the hotel – but I would have paid a hundred dollars more per night for the same worm. By being the late bird, I not only get the worm I want, but I get a better deal on it!

I’m the late bird most of the time so today’s discovery is thrilling to me.

It appears, at least in this instance, the late bird gets a better deal on the worm.

I really hope this becomes the rule instead of the exception!

Hugs,
Late Bird

P.S. When did you get a better deal by being the late bird?

Saturday, May 15, 2010

Baby Bear Day

Today is Saturday.

Saturday is my favorite day of the week.

But, besides that, today is one of those days when everything seems to be just right, which reminds me of The Story of the Three Bears, where Goldilocks describes each of the Baby Bear’s things as being just right.

Today is a Baby Bear Day.

Taylor woke up around 8:30 this morning. Not too early, not too late, but just right.

We took a walk to Starbucks in the mid-morning sun. Not too hot, not too cold, but just right.

We went to see Taylor’s cousins play Little League Baseball. Not too long, not too short, but just right.

Taylor swam at the tennis club baby pool. Not too dirty, not too clean, but just right.

And so the day has gone.

My new favorite day of the week is any day that is a Baby Bear Day.

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Bluesday Tip #3: Bag Plastic Bags

Today is Bluesday! On the first Tuesday of each month, I share a tip for How To Be Blue. Being blue is about caring for the ocean - what we put into it, and what we take out of it.

This month's Bluesday tip: Bag Plastic Bags.

If you’re like me, you may not have noticed how many plastic bags you use in a given day - one for your deli lunch, one for toothpaste and hand soap at the drug store, several more for groceries, maybe another one at the mall. I started to pay attention and realized that I ended up with a plastic bag in my hands after almost any routine purchase.

Everything seems to get stuffed into plastic bags.

Worst of all, plastic bags have an extremely short useful life – the few minutes it takes to carry items from the store to the car to the house.

And then what?

We (cringe) throw the plastic bag away

And where exactly is away?

Well, away may start out as the trash can or landfill, but often away ends up to be the beach or the ocean.

Each year, thousands of seabirds and marine mammals die from ingestion of or entanglement in plastics such as single-use plastic bags. Sea turtles often mistake plastic bags for food (jellyfish), a mistake that can be fatal.

The problem with plastic is that it doesn’t biodegrade, it photodegrades. It breaks down into smaller and smaller pieces with exposure to the sun’s UV light. As a result, virtually every piece of plastic that has ever been produced still exists in some shape or form. Millions of plastic bags are sitting in landfills and garbage cans, or caught in drains or around animals’ bodies.

The good news is that there are so many ways to reduce plastic bag use!

Buy a reusable fabric bag. Bags made from canvas or cotton can be used repeatedly and are usually washable. Most grocery stores offer such bags for sale in their stores right near the check out. Try reusable bags for all purchases, not just groceries. (The most difficult thing about reusable bags is to remember to bring them with you!)

Ask for paper, not plastic. Although it is best to use a fabric bag, paper is recyclable and decomposes faster.

Reuse plastic bags that you already have. Be creative! Plastic bags can be used to stuff a giant pet pillow, to line paint trays or baseboards for painting, or they can be stored in the car for wet clothes and shoes. The possibilities are endless. Search the internet for helpful ideas.

Encourage your local stores to charge for plastic bags (IKEA started charging for plastic bags in mid-March). Most people would rather carry their own purchases by hand than pay for a bag.

Stuff the stuff. If you must use plastic bags, be sure to completely fill up each bag to reduce the total number used. Don’t bag items like laundry detergent and drink cartons that have their own handles.

Find biodegradable plastic bags (try pet stores, pet shelters, environmental agencies, and chambers of commerce). Some bags decompose in around 15 days.

It takes time to change any habit. I’ve been trying to Bag Plastic Bags for months now. Some days, I walk out of the grocery store with two fabric bags full of food, feeling good, definitely being blue. Other days, I forget my fabric bag at a store that doesn’t offer paper with too many items to carry in my hands. And I end up with a plastic bag. But I try to keep it for later use instead of throwing it to the dreaded away.

Being blue takes time.

Just do the best you can to Bag Plastic Bags. The ocean creatures will thank you!

May you turn a deeper shade of blue with each passing month.

P.S. An interesting website for more information: http://www.riseaboveplastics.org/


Monday, April 26, 2010

Playground Politics

Okay, people. What is happening on playgrounds these days? I’ve been to a few in the past week and, let me tell you, it’s a whole new world out there.

Allow me to complain a little bit about some people and their playground politics.

Humor me.

This isn’t to say that I don’t do annoying or irresponsible things. We all do. I’m not preaching here, just telling you what I witnessed on two separate playgrounds that made me wonder if I was on one of those hidden camera shows.

Is someone watching me to see if I’ll do the right thing? Is someone testing my patience?

Ashton? Oh, Aaaaash-ton? You can come out now. You’re not going to punk me!

Actually, I feel sorry for celebrities who get Punk’d. I’m glad I’m not famous. Well, that’s not true. But I’m glad I’m not in danger of being Punk’d.

Anyway, I digress.

It all began on an innocent trip to a park playground last Friday in Columbia. The slide contraption was tall and fun, but not toddler friendly. I did my usual shadow-mommy behavior: holding Taylor’s hand every step of the way and staying behind her as she climbed.

(I know, don’t say it. I’m one of those moms. I hover. I can’t help it. She’s my first child and only child at the moment. Enough said.)

After I finally let Taylor go down the tunnel slide alone (to be caught by my mom on the other end), I walked back to the steps to bring Taylor up for another round. That’s when I saw a little girl who couldn’t have been much more than two years old, if that, pulling her way up the steps to the main platform of the play gym.

We saw this same little girl earlier that day eating sand from a plastic rake like it was an ice cream cone. We had yet to see her mother.

Now, let me explain to you that this play gym was at least eight - maybe even ten - feet tall with several open spaces where kids could monkey their way down metal poles and ladders. An unattended two-year-old could fall off and drop ten feet to the ground, easily.

I was imagining the worst. My maternal instincts kicked in like nobody’s business.

I lifted that little girl off the steps and carried her around the playground asking every adult in sight, “Whose child is this?” until finally a young woman came forward to claim her. She scooped the little girl out of my arms without so much as a thank you.

Seriously?

She didn’t even say thank you! She didn’t seem concerned or the least bit surprised.

So went my first lesson in playground politics. That mother felt entitled to a supervision-free outing to the park, allowed her too-young-for-the-play-gym daughter to wander aimlessly into danger, and expected other parents at the park to watch her child. She took advantage of the system. And it worked.

I guess I was the sucker.

But I would do the same thing every time for the sake of that little girl.

In another less-friendly park in Charlotte, I witnessed one child slap another child in a fight over the steering wheel toy on the play gym. Taylor was in my arms - thank goodness - but I audibly gasped and turned my shocked face to the mother who yelled at the boys. I thought her son was the victim of another, unrelated boy’s aggression. I expected her to jump up and save her son from the situation, but she didn’t move from her seat on the bench. She just kept yelling while they basically ignored her. I realized she must have been in charge of both boys when she huffed and shook her head at them, still unmoved from her seat. They were allowed to continue playing or fighting or whatever. I immediately left with Taylor, explaining to her that hitting is bad behavior. I didn’t want her to think it was okay to hit.

No fighting, no biting.

Right?

Isn’t that still the rule?

My second lesson in playground politics: apparently, all’s fair in love and war and on the playground.

Sheesh.

Some people.

So, what’s happening on your playground?

Monday, April 19, 2010

My Blog Title

Dear Reader,

Thanks for stopping by to read my blog! I mean it. I like to think that there is at least one of you out there, but I don’t know who you are unless you leave a comment or become a follower (hint, hint – my followers feature is new – follow me – over there ----> ).

Anyway, Reader, do you ever wonder what I was thinking when I chose my blog title: “What Was I Thinking?”

Maybe not, but I feel the need to explain.

I know my title is an idiom. It’s a rhetorical question commonly used to express disbelief or regret or embarrassment about something done or left undone. It’s another way of saying, “Why, oh, why did I do that?” It’s something I’d groan with an emphasis on the word ‘thinking’ while shaking my head in wonder at my own foolishness.

But my blog title, while it may be true to its figurative sense for some of the content in my posts (I’ll let you be the judge), is actually meant to introduce whatever I was thinking at a specific moment in time about any one of a variety of topics - the trials and joys of parenthood, my first attempt to write a novel, practicing law, or my wish to study and protect the ocean.

Really, literally – what was I thinking?

If you care to know, then read my mind on my blog.

It’s just that simple.

Still, to have a little fun with my blog title, I’ve listed a few things below that would make me have to ask myself the blog title question in its common, figurative form. I’m pleased to report that I did these things (well, most of them) when I just didn't know better in my teens and twenties.

What Was I Thinking…

…when I went water-skiing in an alligator-infested river?

…when I left at two in the morning to drive ten hours to Panama City for spring break only to get stuck in the well-forecasted blizzard in Atlanta?

…when I took a taxi – alone – from our hotel in Cuernavaca, Mexico, to a remote village in the nearby mountains to climb to some random temple?

…when I went to law school? (Just kidding! But I did ask myself the blog title many times during the first year.)

…when I rode in a six-seat airplane in Belize that landed on a dirt runway with a small wood shack for an airport? (I’m not kidding)

…when I did so many keg stands at a party that I thought it would be a good idea to put my keys in the ice box? (It took most of the next morning to find them before I could go home!)

…when I bought some over-priced lotion set from a mall kiosk vendor?

…when I drove a rented Taurus on a gravel road that wound through the hills of New Zealand’s North Island – alone and without a cell phone?

…when I danced in a shadow box at a public bar? (okay - that was in my thirties)

…when I climbed up the side of my old apartment building, using the water pipes and decorative ledges, to reach the unlocked balcony window of my third floor apartment because I locked myself out and didn’t want to wait for the landlord?

…when I tried to install my own dial-up internet wiring by tacking a phone cord along the floor and door frames from one bedroom to another?

You get the picture.

I hope you are amused by my selection of naïve and embarrassing adventures. I’ve had a few too many opportunities to ask myself, “What was I thinking?” I don’t want a whole blog about it.

And that is why my blog title means exactly what it asks.

Now, you know what I think.

(Follow me – over there -----> )

Hugs,
Kristen


P.S. Tell me what you think. What have you done that made you ask yourself, “What was I thinking?” Don't be shy. I want to know.

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Bluesday Tip #2: Drink It, Don't Sink It

Today is Bluesday (the first Tuesday of the month). Each Bluesday I share a tip for How To Be Blue. Being blue is about caring for the ocean - what we put into it, and what we take out of it. This month's Bluesday tip is "Drink It, Don't Sink It."

Each time I brush my teeth, I turn on the water in the sink…and leave it on. I rinse my brush and then stand there, brushing and brushing while the water is gushing and gushing. This is a waste of water. I don’t remember when this bad habit began, but I’m more aware of it now than ever. It’s a hard habit to break.

One of the best ways to keep the ocean clean and to be blue is to conserve water. One of the easiest ways to conserve water is to turn off the water while you brush your teeth. We can all learn to do it. Here’s how:

Step 1:
Put a cup beside the sink for convenience.

Step 2:
Before you start to brush, fill the cup with water and rinse your toothbrush.

Step 3:
Turn off the water (obviously, this is the most important step).

Step 4:
Brush teeth, drink water to rinse, and clean toothbrush with water leftover in cup.

Step 5:
Feel good about fresh breath, clean teeth, and being blue!


Conserve water by reforming your water use habits.

Drink it, don’t sink it. The ocean will thank you!

May you turn a deeper shade of blue with each passing month.

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Barefooting

Sometimes we just need to kick off our shoes. We need a rest, sand between our toes, and time. We need to go barefooting.

I didn’t pay attention to the joy of barefooting until a few weekends ago when it warmed up enough for us to walk barefoot on the beach. My two-year-old daughter exclaimed, “I love barefooting!” And her words stuck with me.

The more I thought about it, the more I realized that barefooting has a much broader purpose. It isn’t limited to a beach. One can go barefooting on a fluffy carpet, on a sun-soaked sidewalk, in cool blades of grass. Barefooting eases stress, frees up the mind for inspiration, and pulls us into the present moment of feeling the world with our feet.

Our soles soothe our souls.

Go barefooting!

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Bluesday Tip #1: Sending out an SOS

Today is Bluesday (the first Tuesday of the month). Each Bluesday I share a tip for How To Be Blue. This month’s Bluesday tip is “Source Of Seafood” or, as I like to put it, “SOS” (just like the well known distress signal). The ocean is sending out an SOS! Pay attention to the source of the seafood in the market or on the menu. Choose accordingly. The source of seafood we consume affects not only the sustainability of the ocean fisheries, but our own health.

For my vegetarian and vegan friends (and anyone who doesn’t like seafood), this one will be easy. For the rest of us, it’s difficult to figure out the source of seafood. What is best for the ocean and for us? I certainly struggle with this and often forget to bring along a list when I shop or dine.

To that end, the following information is reprinted from the Monterey Bay Aquarium Seafood Watch website. For more detailed information and to print your own Seafood Watch Pocket Guide for any area of the U.S., please click here:

The Monterey Bay Aquarium has identified seafood that is "Super Green" (again, I think it should be called Super “Blue”) meaning that it is good for human health and does not harm the oceans. The Super Green list highlights products that are currently on the Seafood Watch "Best Choices" list, are low in environmental contaminants, and are good sources of long-chain omega-3 fatty acids.

The Best of the Best: January 2010

Albacore Tuna (troll- or pole-caught, from U.S. or British Columbia)
Freshwater Coho Salmon (farmed in tank systems, from the U.S.)
Mussels (farmed)
Oysters (farmed)
Pacific Sardines (wild-caught)
Pink Shrimp (wild-caught, from Oregon)
Rainbow Trout (farmed)
Salmon (wild-caught, from Alaska)
Spot Prawns (wild-caught, from British Columbia)

Other Healthy “Best Choices”

Arctic Char (farmed)
Bay Scallops (farmed)
Crayfish (farmed, from the U.S.)
Dungeness Crag (wild-caught, from California, Oregon or Washington)
Longfin Squid (wild-caught, from the U.S. Atlantic)
Pacific Cod (longline-caught, from Alaska)

Print this list and take it along whenever you plan to buy or eat seafood, or print a Pocket Guide from the Monterey Bay Aquarium Seafood Watch website.

The ocean is sending out an SOS! This month’s Bluesday tip is to pay attention and respond to the SOS - Source Of Seafood.

Eat wisely.

May you turn a deeper shade of blue with each passing month!

Friday, February 26, 2010

Bluesday

We've all heard about going green, but (in my humble opinion) I think the environmental movement is the wrong color. Our lives - and the 'green' parts of earth where we live - depend on the ocean. The great blue ocean deserves our highest protection and respect. Our push to make choices that are better for the environment should be a blue movement focused on caring for the ocean - what we put into it, and what we take out of it.

Allow me to introduce Bluesday.

Bluesday on my blog is the first Tuesday of each month. On Bluesday, I will post a tip about How To Be Blue. Why only one tip per month? I want to keep it simple, make it easy to remember and possible to do. Experts say it takes thirty days to create a habit, so I'm allowing thirty days for each tip to become your new habit.

Look for the first tip on Bluesday, March 2, 2010.

My inspiration for Bluesday comes from my lifelong fascination with the ocean and marine biology. I am also inspired by Sylvia Earle, a pioneering oceanographer and National Geographic Explorer-in-Residence. Sylvia Earle has been at the frontier of deep ocean exploration for four decades. She has led more than 50 undersea expeditions and has been an equally tireless advocate for the ocean and the creatures who live in it.

Sylvia was one of three winners of the 2009 TED Prize for her wish to protect the ocean:

“I wish you would use all means at your disposal — films! expeditions! the web! more! — to ignite public support for a global network of marine protected areas, hope spots large enough to save and restore the ocean, the blue heart of the planet.”

Sylvia appeared on The Colbert Report to discuss her new book The World is Blue: How Our Fate and the Ocean’s Are One. To watch Stephen Colbert's funny and informative chat with Sylvia Earle, click here

May you turn a deeper shade of blue with each passing month!

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Make a Life List

In the first month of a new year, we become aware of the passing of time. We make resolutions. We promise ourselves that we'll get in shape or learn a new language. Before we know it, New Year's Eve is upon us once again. We make new resolutions (or renew our old, unfinished ones). The cycle continues until a decade passes in the blink of an eye. Our reliance on the new year as a measure of success leaves us with too little time to accomplish our goals.

We need to think big. We need to set life goals. We need to make a Life List.

A Life List is more concrete than dreams, more grandiose than the daily to-do list (see the movie "The Bucket List" or MTV's new series "The Buried Life"). A Life List includes five, ten, a hundred, or however many things you want to do before you die; the experiences you wish to have in a lifetime; a handful of actions (however small or large) that will mean something to you when you look back on your life.

But how, you might ask, do you go about making and doing your Life List? The items on the list are as varied and unique as each person who hopes to achieve them. You will need to find time for some intense introspection (that scares us all a little bit), and time to work toward the goals you set for yourself. Have a sense of humor about it (I’m sure there’s something funny or embarrassing that you’ll want to put on your list). Be creative. Have fun!

The following steps will get you started:

STEP 1: Put It In Writing. The most important step to take when making your own Life List is to write it down. Something about the act of writing makes your mind take note that what you've written is important and worth remembering. I recommend actually handwriting your list on paper instead of using a computer. You'll probably outlive whatever word processing and backup method you use right now.

STEP 2: Ask The Basic Questions. While creating your Life List, ask yourself: Who? What? Where? The "Who" may be people you would like to help, people with whom you want to spend more time, or people you admire whose lives inspire an item on your list. The "What" may be things you want to do, learn, have, be. The "Where" could be places you want to visit or live. When you set out to achieve an item on your list, ask yourself: When? How? The "When" includes a time frame (in months or years), a specific deadline, or a certain date (depending on the item). The "How" includes preparation to achieve each item and the cost involved – both money and time.

STEP 3: Check Off and Add On. A Life List is an open-ended work in progress. Just as you never know when your life may end, you never know when your Life List is complete. You may add to it for as long as you live. But don't forget to check off each item as you accomplish it. That's the best part!

Enjoy the process and remember that it may take you a lifetime to check the last item off of your Life List.

Which item on your Life List do you think will be the most difficult (or daring) to accomplish?

Saturday, February 13, 2010

The Land of Four

We’re all familiar with the mysterious disappearance of one sock from the dryer. Where does it go? How is one missing sock a universal happening? Somewhere far, far away there must be a bunch of single socks running around wild and free in sock land.

Well, I recently discovered a new land: The Land of Four.

I came upon this new land very much by accident. I was simply setting up a magnetic alphabet & numbers set on the refrigerator. Letters A through Z were lining up nicely. Beneath them, numbers zero through – hey, wait a minute, where is number four? And that’s when it hit me. Number four had done what so many socks before it had done -- split, disappeared, vanished without a trace.

Somewhere (probably over a rainbow) was a land where number four frolicked in fields with other disenchanted toys. They were all toys that grew tired of the same old routine – life as a magnet stuck on the freezer door, life as a passing piece of entertainment for toddlers with short attention spans. So they got out. But I was on to them.

It wasn’t only the number four that made a hasty escape from our house. I noticed other toys missing – a plastic spoon from Taylor’s tea set, an orange toy fish from the bathtub. I couldn’t find them anywhere. Which toy would be next? Where was this black hole of a toy land?

More than a week has passed since the toys went missing. I still look around for them, but I know they’re gone. Alas, I haven’t given up my search for The Land of Four. When I find it, I’ll be sure to post directions. That way, all of us can find the toys that got away.

Then again, if it’s a really fun place (which I suspect it is since it’s full of toys), I may just stay there and play for a while!

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

The Sitdownagains

I’m not a big fan of TV for toddlers, but I’ve come to realize that there are times when I need it. There are times when I’ve been on my feet since I stepped out of bed, chasing my toddler, dressing my toddler, playing with my toddler, feeding my toddler, cleaning up after my toddler, and wanting nothing more than ten minutes to sit down. That’s when a short (and educational) TV cartoon show can provide a much needed break.

One such show is The Backyardigans, which is my two-year-old’s current favorite (although her favorite changes by the week). Some of you may know this show, others of you (especially those without kids) may be trying to figure out what in the world the show name means (and how to pronounce it). Basically, it’s about five little creatures who live in a neighborhood together and make up adventures in their backyard (hence, “Backyard”-igans). Their pretend adventures come to life in the yard and transport them to the places they imagine. There is also a lot of song and dance.

Most importantly, these cartoon kiddos succeed where most other toys fail – they hold my toddler’s attention for more than five minutes. In fact, I often find that I have a full twenty minutes to sit down! That’s why The “Sitdownagains” has now become my favorite show, too.
 

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